You Just Cant Make This Up

From the theater of the asinine and absurd, here's a headline from today's New York Times:
  
"New Yorkers Brace for Doorman Strike"

I suppose if I lived in New York City, and I lived in an Apartment building with a "doorman", this story would be at least a little bit relevant to me. I might even have to consider opening my own doors for awhile. Oh, the humanity!

The sheer hell New Yorkers go through! How do they ever do it? No Doorman? Whats next? The Earth stops rotating?